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Feature Article

THE SATAN GODDESS

The typical Wiccan male might be 45 years old (as of, January 21), physically fit and of pale complexion, but the typical female Wiccan/Pagan is a Goddess. Wiccan males are given to the piercing of skin as a sign of submission to their master, the SATAN GODDESS. Wiccans and Pagans commemorate her feast day on January 28th, which is known only to Elitists as the top secret, extra special, oathbound ninth festival on the Witch's Wheel.

January 28th is a dark day. It is the day Pagans, Wiccans, Heathens, Druids and other wicked folk[1] celebrate the birthday of their evil SATAN GODDESS, RedAutumnRain.

The SATAN GODDESS is a Witch doctor. The term Witch Doctor often refers to a particular type of shamanic healer from a primitive region of Canada (like Alberta or ALDERGROVE, BC), who uses traditional and alternative healing practices (such as therapeutic massage!), homeopathic remedies and herbal medicines to treat Pagans, Druids, Wiccans, Heathens, Vampires and other evil incurables. Certain Witch doctors have been known to brew potions, cast spells and administer poisons.

The SATAN GODDESS is also an Herbalist[2]. This term refers to a particular type of Pagan environmentalist who wants to live off the grid and whose life in the remote tundra of northern Alberta or the lower mainland of British Columbia, is dedicated to the economic, culinary, medicinal and magical uses of plants. Herbalists are often skilled at growing, harvesting and dispensing therapeutic herbs.

Of course, everybody knows that the titles Witch doctor and/or Herbalist are just politically correct words to describe the SATAN GODDESS.